I really wanted the title to read, “$hit you can do without!” but I’m way more cool than that!
I was thinking of all the crap people have to put up with in their life so I decided to create a list. I’m the authority on $hit, after all, I’m the son of a plumber where all you have to know is that the boss is a SOB, payday is Friday and $hit goes downhill.
Here is the top ten list of $hit you can do without:
- People who tell you how to spend your money. Mother-in-laws are good at that. Most conversation in break rooms are centered around the pour choices everyone else has made with their money even though they bought 10 customized pens for $175 from a smooth telemarketer.
- Calling customer support and having to hit “1” for English and you get a representative that English is their second language. Oh my gosh. Most English speaking representatives first language is Spanish and you can’t understand them anyway. Some English speaking representatives are sitting in their homes in India. It sucks. Then you ask for a real English speaking representative and they tell you they can’t do that. Then you just want to hang up and try your luck again.
- You just did a number 2 in the toilet and it won’t flush. Do I need to explain this one further. I’m just glad I have a three foot long plunger.
- You just laid down to sleep on a hot summer night and the air conditioner goes out. I hate that. You have to call a 24-hour repair man who can’t show up until the next day. Then you call your brother to see if you can sleep at his house and he already has house guests.
- You were so glad for a nice income tax refund that you went out and spent it before you got it only to find out your CPA made a mistake and now you owe more money. If that won’t piss you off, nothing will. Then when you call your CPA to complain, he explains that it wasn’t his fault. His staff member transposed a number. They you say, “You’re fired” only to have your CPA say, “And after all I’ve done for you.”
- You put something away in your home and your wife moves it before you need it again, only to wonder where you put it. I hate that. I’m always asking my wife where things are because according to her I put it in the wrong place. Then when I ask my wife where to put things she rolls her eyes back in her head as if I should already know the answer to that question. I can’t win for losing.
- You’re at a gathering of other people and your pants split in the back. Then you are trying to be discrete but everyone keeps asking you “what’s the matter?” because you look stupid trying to face everyone. The telling sign is that you walk backwards as you leave so no one sees the split.
- You’re at the checkout with a thousand people behind you and your credit card company denies your card. Then you say something must be wrong and everyone in line is thinking you’re a dead beat that is overdrawn. All the time you keep explaining to the clerk that you used the card only yesterday. Then the clerk thinks to herself, “And that’s why your overdrawn you jerk!
- You’ve been at a gathering of many people and when you get home discover a chunk of food stuck between your teeth. Then you start to realize why everyone was looking at you funny. Then you remember Billy who kept picking his teeth and you thought he was weird only to discover that he was trying to tell you that you looked stupid with food stuck between your teeth.
- The TV remote always disappears. When you have multiple people watching TV the remote is NEVER put back in a place that everyone can see it. I’ve found the the thing in the bathroom before. How many times have you torn all the cushions off the couch because you’ve look everywhere else only to discover it is sitting on the TV set?
I hope you can relate to this list. Leave me a comment about some items I need to add to my next list of things you could do without in your life!