Women wear so many hats; mother, wife, daughter, employee or business owner. Each one is demanding. Women support and nurture the people that they love. I’ve observed that even if your husband or partner is the best person in the world, you’re the one that day in and day out, are providing more emotional support than anyone in your home.
I’ve heard women say to me, “I’m so overwhelmed. I have so much to do. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m stuck. Help!” Have you ever said this?
Many women feel as if they should know how to do everything without ever asking for help. When they are faced with new choices and decisions, it’s normal to feel confused.
Women need time and attention for their families and loved ones, there business, their health, their home. It’s no wonder to me why they feel stressed and overwhelmed.
According to Denise Michaels, “Overwhelm is fear that looks like having too many things to do. [Women] don’t know how to cope, so [they] go into ‘overload’ or ‘overwhelm,’ and just stop.” Eventually this fear may lead to a women saying, “I’m stuck!”
I believe women need escapism activities. One of my wife’s favorite is shopping. Is that your favorite as well?
I recommend to women that are “overwhelmed” or “stuck” to realize it’s okay to be there. Give yourself permission to be in this state. That will help you overcome your fear that leads to guilt. Then as Ms. Michaels says, “Go with the flow.” Give yourself a break. Spend a day relaxing, tend to your garden or just do an activity you love.
These times allow for the “Chatty Chattering” inside your head to go away. Your brains race about 1,500 words a minute and you have, on average, over 60,000 thoughts per day! That can be daunting. The Chatty Chattering may be saying:
- “My son needs help with his math homework and I really don’t know if I’m smart enough to help him.”
- “I need to pick up my husband’s shirts from the dry cleaners before his big meeting tomorrow but I’m mad at him because I’m so busy and the cleaners is on his way home.”
- “I really need to go to yoga today and get in some exercise.”
- “I wonder why Shelly hasn’t called me back? I wonder if she is mad at me?”
- “I really need to close that account but I’m not sure I’m good enough for them.”
- “Suzanne’s soccer coach is such a pain and demanding. I’m not sure I’m going to like this dictator.”
- “I’m such an airhead. I may never figure out the software. I must be stupid.”
The Chatty Chattering is a weight that can sink you to the bottom of the sea. It prevents you from moving forward and stopping you from finishing tasks and projects.
Truth: You can turn off the Chatty Chattering!
Here’s How: Take time to plan. Take a few deep cleansing breaths, close your eyes and meditate and say a positive prayer. Take a few minutes to clear your head. Then say the magic words, “I’m open to receiving the key to opening my perfect potential. Let it come to me now!”
Then be quiet and write down all the keys that come into your mind and they will be endless if your mind is truly free of the Chatty Chattering. Then say what Denise Michaels would say, “It’s okay. Right now, I am focusing on completing this.” Then return to the project you’re working on and stay in the present moment.
If your working on something that brings you outside your comfort zone please understand that you’ll naturally have some anxiety and want to do something else that provide instant gratification. Be strong and make a choice to stay focused. Use the anxiety as a key to realize that upon completion you’ll have the euphoric feeling of accomplishment! This is always the way it works. Anxiety leads to uncomfortable feelings leads to euphoric feelings! Say to yourself, “I’m awesome and I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes when I conquer something that is hard!”
I love what Denise Michaels says, “Practice selective procrastination.” Give yourself permission to put tasks temporarily on the back burner especially the little things. This will allow you to focus on one thing at a time. It’s okay “not to multi-task” even though you’re DNA suggest otherwise. A fully focused engaged mind that is free of the Chatty Chattering is a powerful thing! You don’t require testosterone. Leave that method up to the guys. Yours is a much more powerful and effective method! Like a laser that has a very narrow focused beam, when you too bear down on one thing at a time you’ll be able to accomplish more in less time! I promise you that you can do it!
Your right brain is much more creative than a guy’s. When you can unlock it’s power you’ll be amazed at the solutions you’ll create. From Bill Mayer’s book The Magic in Asking the Right Questions are twenty questions to ask yourself and get you to start unlocking that beautiful right brain of yours. These questions can get you to start thinking in ways that are positive, less overwhelming and more creative. They are:
- How can I make it fun?
- What is great about this?
- What am I thankful for?
- What’s a better way of looking at this?
- What is my desired outcome?
- What is a possible solution?
- What did I learn from this?
- How can I simplify this?
- What would a power thinker do in this situation?
- What’s the best use of my time right now?
- What action do I need to take?
- Why do I want to do this?
- What are the benefits?
- How can I feel better right now?
- How can I raise my energy level?
- What do I want to accomplish today?
- How can I be more productive?
- What do I value most in my life?
- What’s a better choice to focus on?
- What’s a more empowering question to ask?
According to Dr. Warren Berland author of Out of the Box for Life says that the Chatty Chattering leads to self-doubt. Many doctors state that this is your ego at work. They believe your ego tries to protect you and help you deal with your world. However, it’s almost always negative. Your ego is not solution-oriented and is actually dis-empowering.
Truth: You have power over your ego because it does not exist!
How: Understand one very powerful function given to every human being on earth;
Your feelings are a barometer of what your thoughts are and you can control your thoughts.
When you start to feel anything less than perfect, it’s a sign, like a barometer, that your thoughts are negative. In this state you’ve lost your well-being. The beauty of this is that you can train yourself to recognize that your powerful well-being is slipping and you can always discover its origin; a thought that is not real.
As stated earlier their are over 60,000 Chatty Chattering thoughts a day in your mind. You can either believe they are real or you can dismiss them. You can actually “replace” Chatty Chatter with your own positive thoughts. It’s the positive thoughts that make you feel perfect.
Truth: By your choice of thoughts you can achieve anything in life and always be happy, have peace of mind and be free!
Get started today to free yourself of “Overwhelm.” Let’s summarize what you can do today:
- Eliminate outside distractions
- Explore the thoughts that make you feel less than perfect; write them down and then throw them away
- Take a deep breath, free your mind and say a prayer
- Say out loud the thoughts that would make you feel euphoric
- Realize you have the power to fill your mind with positive thoughts
- When you lack immediate wisdom, ask some of the twenty questions
May the force be with you! I admire greatly the role women play in our lives. You are far superior to men in almost every thing when it comes to the mind and heart. Use your gifts to make a contribution to your own happiness, peace of mind and freedom.
I work with many women in his Isagenix® and investment advisory businesses. I’m the the creator of JoyfulHope.org, a national private foundation that helps youth and young adults overcome the effects of depression. I’m a nutrition coach and have worked with hundreds of women, just like you, to help them improve their health. You can learn more about me by visiting my websites. I’m very approachable and I’m available for a one-on-one heart to heart consultation to help you achieve better well-being, health and wealth. It’s my mission in life to help other. I’d like to help you or any one you believe may benefit from my ministry.