This is a refresher course in crap. You know the kind, knee deep.
Why would someone lie and spread the BS? Let’s look at the reason.
The main reason that someone will feed you a line of crap is because of an insecurity they have. They are probably hiding something that that feel shame about. They have this need to fit in and feel like they belong but deep down inside they don’t even realize they are lying. They haven’t figured out that owning their own story and accepting their imperfection creates humility and being authentic goes a long way for them to connect and earn the belonging they desire.
People that BS and are not authentic and many times live in the past. They bring up favorable past events to deflect attention away from their current existence. They will tell you most anything about the past but avoid telling the truth about their current situation.
People that BS are working so hard and being who they think you need them to be you’ll feel they are just performing for you. The BS flies during their performance and they probably need to be in line to win an academy award as “Best crap performance of the year.”
People that let BS fly are usually perfectionists. They think they have to BS you into thinking they are perfect in every way just so you’ll accept them. I know it lame but its the truth. Perfectionist suck. I know, I used to be be one. Damn hard to admit but now I understand.
When you hear the BS fly please realize they are probably not doing it to harm you. They are actually doing it to have you accept them. When I get the crap I disarm them by affirming that I think they are a great person without the crap being spread. When a person knows you care and accept them for who they really are, they will quit the BS and you’ll get the honest truth from them. At that point healing can begin and real connection can takes place.
It’s not so bad to hear the crap. At some point though you’ll have a choice to make. If they still feel that they need to let it fly after you’ve let them know that they don’t, you’ll have to cut them off. That’s crappy in itself because they get what they fear most; they don’t get to feel that they belong.
Be a BS changer! Accept all people for who they really are. That includes yourself.