imperfect momThe tug-o-war of priorities. Everyone is pulling for your time.

Have you ever said or thought, “When do I get time for myself?”

What’s the solution?

First of all give yourself a big pat on the back for being so good in all areas of your life that everyone wants more of you.

Moms especially deserve a big medal because without them the family would crumble, nothing of value would ever get done at work and relationships would suffer.

Let’s look at three truths and solutions.

There Are Only 24 Hours in a Day

Well duh! You already know that. What this helps you to understand is that there is only a finite amount of time to go around. But this is also a cause of the stress and anxiety you feel of being pulled in so many directions because you “think” that it all has to get done within “everyone else’s” time frame. Get rid of the watch (or at least the concept of time) because the truth is only one thing can get done at a time (although women are great multitaskers and dispel this belief on a daily basis). It’s about priorities. Read more below.

There is Only One of You

The great blessing in life is that there is only one of you! You are unique and there is no reason to think that you need to be someone other than yourself to get it all done. Every person is challenged with the tug-o-war. Those who solve it either figured out the truths on their own or they read this blog post!!!

First be authentic. According to Brene’ Brown, Phd’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection (I highly recommend you read this) to be authentic is, “To get rid of the person you think you should be and embrace who you really are.”

Create Priorities and Trust Them

This is the meat and potatoes of removing the tug-o-war. You have to understand the importance of priorities and schedule time in each area. Yes, I said the “S” word. You have to be proactive and SCHEDULE tasks and events in each area.

Below is a relationship pyramid. This is taken from the book titled, ACHIEVING THE BALANCE: YOUR IDEAL LIFE IS WAITING! by Leo Weidner and Mark Kastleman.

Please focus on the word, “Relationship.” The categories in order of importance, just like a real pyramid, are from the bottom up. The significance of each area in relation to the others are illustrated by their size on the shape.

You have to build a “relationship” with each area. They are to be built from the bottom up.

When is the last time you really spent time on yourself? I’ll bet you always forsake yourself and take care of everyone else first. Build a better you by study and service. It’s focusing on your needs and doing something that really matters to you.

When I’ve quizzed people about the six categories there has never been one person that slotted in “health” to the mix. It’s actually more important than your family (spouse, children or parents/siblings) yet they seem to get more time than you going for a run or to the gym. If you lost your health, then nothing would get done. It is so important to take care of your health.



It’s unfortunate that many people in life do not have a relationship with their Creator. This is the spiritual connection that attaches all the dots together. From personal experience and working with thousands I’ve discovered that the greatest gains in happiness, joy, peace and productivity are when people begin to build a relationship with their Creator.

The cause of much of your stress and tug-o-war is that the order of the pyramid is all out of sorts. Many business owners turn the pyramid upside down and think their business is more important than the rest of the categories. Or moms leaving self and health completely off the grid. If you’re a mom have you ever thought, “When do I ever get time for myself?”

What’s Next?

You thought I’d never ask!

What’s next is up to you. It will take some focused effort on removing yourself from the tug-o-war. Many people are simply addicted to it. When you remove yourself of the drama and other stress when others want your time, because you’ve SCHEDULED life on your terms, they will see the difference in you. You’ll begin to get everything done, on time and with outstanding results. You’ll actually get more done because you’ll replace meaningless tasks with high priority tasks.

You’ll condition others to your new way but you first have to condition yourself.

Go and do it. Climb the pyramid all the way to the top!!!!


About the Author Michael Lantz (Big Papa)

The Wellness Warrior™; Health & Leadership/Business Coach, Speaker, Blogger, Author, Ironman Triathlete Helping others live with more health and joy, paying for their dreams and make a difference in the world! Learn more: