COMMUNICATION FROM A FLYING SAUCER
The trouble with earthlings is their early adulthood. As long as they are young, they are lovable, open-hearted, tolerant, eager to learn and to collaborate. They can even be induced to play with one another. Most adults, however, are mortal enemies. The only educational problem earth has is how to keep them young. For life, evolution, progress, and adaptation to new situations, they are useful only as long as they keep their youthful qualities. But the funny thing is that in all the educational institutions I visited the object was to hasten maturity instead of delaying it. Surely your history can teach you that only the races with the longest childhood were able to remain in the cultural mainstream. The ideal should be to prolong childhood up to sixty years.
Then you would be able to produce a real planetary culture. Once you realize the importance of this prolongation it will be easy for your biologists to work out the necessary techniques to keep your children teachable. Your cultural life has already become too rich, too complicated, for you to content yourselves with an educational period of a mere twelve years. True specialization should start at sixty. Compare the growth of intelligence in human children of, let us say, seven to fourteen, with that of children of fourteen to twenty-one. Do you see the dramatic slowdown the moment maturity appears? Many children simply stop at sixteen, some even at fourteen. And even those who go on evolving usually progress along lines already laid down at the age of ten or twelve. No new regions of mind normally open in human beings after that. The most shocking fact about evolution is not that we descend from something we probably wouldn’t like to meet alone in a forest at night, but that something descends from us which we certainly wouldn’t like to meet even at noon in a crowded street. Perhaps the subhuman is more acceptable than the suprahuman.
Equals One, 1969-2, The Journal of Auroville, Pondicherry-2, India
Quoted in the book, Growing Young, Ashley Montagu
Take Away Notes
The problem with adults is they quit being innocent like children. You can’t really blame adults because they were taught as a child to “grow up” and be an adult from their own adult parents, who were probably taught the same thing.
I’ve asked why this is so? Why do so many adults feel pressure to act a certain way, be a certain kind of person or have a need to “fit in” to their crowd? At the core of the answers to these questions, I was able to understand that adults are drawn away from their childlike innocence to be like all the other adults.
Children possess several traits that I had lost and wanted back. Some of those traits I still had and in reflection, those made me the happiest.
Children’s Awesome Traits
- Free Play
Your childlike trait of Wonder helped you recognized that these traits were an acronym for the word, WONDERFUL. Right?
My Parenting Improvement
When I began to shed the layers of fear that I took upon me from others that caused me to move away from who I really was, I began to see myself and my children in a whole new light. No longer did I have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t and I began to practice and accepting who I really was. That allowed me to see my adult children for who they really were. I quit being judgmental and replaced that with unconditional love for them, regardless of their or my own imperfections.
I began with these rules of reparenting my adult children (and I use them with my grandchildren too):
- Unconditionally love them
- Accept my children and their uniqueness, views, and perception of truth
- Listen more
- Talk less
- Ask them engaging questions
- Feel how they must feel (compassion and empathy)
- Witness their growth and/or setbacks on their own timetable
- Be in the moment while I am with them
It’s my hope that these might allow my children and grandchildren to only begin to specialize at age sixty!
The ONE Attitude
John Bradshaw said, “Children have no adult inside them, but every adult still has a child in themselves!”
Be innocent like the child that is still in you!