Are You Authentic?
How would you really know? I don’t like labeling any person especially using the word “authentic.” While the word is adequate to describe their characteristics of being real, genuine or not a fake, it doesn’t help a person who lacks these desirable traits, to acquire them. A person who lacks traits of being real doesn’t even know they may not be real and that they are faking their own life. To them, faking is the only way they know how and they will have the deer in the headlights look when talking about this.
I’ve met several highly motivated people who claim they are authentic when it seems to me that they are faking it. Saying your are authentic and being authentic are two very different states.
I like using other traits to describe an authentic person. A real person has these desirable traits; self-love and personal unconditional acceptance of themselves and their imperfections. A person who lacks self-acceptance of their faults will understand the faults they have that they don’t accept and may be led to change. They may then be led to ask important questions such as, “I wonder how I begin to accept my own faults?” Or the best question they might ask, “How can I ever drop my guard and begin to share my faults with others without feeling ashamed of them?”
Self-love allows a person to exercise courage in being open and vulnerable. Lack of self-love, or another way to describe this state; conditional self-love, causes a person to believe they are not enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not talented enough. I’m not worthy enough.
Shame is the underlying cause of not being authentic and acting in a way to please others. Shame is hidden in most people. Watch my next few videos, as I will teach you about shame and how to overcome it. I’ll teach you how it affects a child too. You’ll be a better self and much better parent.
Prostitute Inner Child?
Stay with me on this. You’ll learn a different perspective of the word ‘prostitute.’
We all have a Prostitute Inner Child that is there to teach us faith. Most people think that inner voice always tempting us to do the wrong thing is bad. It’s actually there to protect us and strengthen our faith.
By understanding this important part of our inner mind and heart, we can step back from making a poor choice and opt to select the strengthen our faith.
It seems to me that everyone has felt they weren’t good enough at one or more times in their life. I know I certainly have. At one time in my life, I felt this way all the time and it caused many undesirable behaviors and negative feelings. For me and others I’ve known and served, that belief was associated with not accepting all my imperfections. By not accepting all my imperfections, which most people have many, I began to hide and pretend. I hid due to the shame I carried and not wanting anyone to know for fear they would not accept me. That’s why I pretended to be someone other than my true self. Shame and self-love and acceptance can’t reside together. I can have guilt and self-love together. In fact, feeling guilty is a healthy form of self-love. Shame and guilt, though, are two very different emotions.
All humans crave connection with others. It’s our greatest need to be loved and accepted. Yet when I didn’t accept who I really was I pretended in the form of people pleasing, having to perform for others or aspired to be a perfectionist, in order to get people to accept me. I was always on the slippery ground and it was just a matter of time that my house came crashing down in the form of depression, closing myself off from people including my family, and passing over opportunities for growth, fun, and adventure. I ended up with the worse form of lack of self-acceptance, an addiction; the act of numbing a deep pain.
In my video, I describe one thing for you to do every day as a way to gain self-acceptance, even of your many imperfections. When you begin to accept all of yourself, you’ll free
A few years ago when my son was deployed to Aphganistan as a Black Hawk pilot in the US Army I had some anxious moments. War now became very real for me. To think that an enemy wanted to kill my son was very worrisome to me. I had never really suffered from anxiety before or great fear.
During this same year, my business went through some major changes and my income was reduced. That caused a great deal of anxiety too. I had to really resolve this issue. It’s not good to live in fear and anxiety. These emotions just don’t feel very good. It was starting to consume me and I know from prior experience, what I focus on, I find. I was giving life to my fears and anxiety and had to get back to peace and joy, the two emotions I do best with.
That’s when I developed a strategy to remove these emotions. With practice, I was able to remove these negative emotions just about as fast as I got them. Let me share my discovery with you.
Replace Anxiety & Fear with Peace & Joy
There are six distinct steps in the 30-second process. I’ve discovered that I can’t exempt any of the steps. Trust me, I’ve tried. In the beginning, using this method it would take
Can you relate to always doing things that seem urgent? Moms especially! It’s like the dam sprung a leak and you’re the only one with a finger to put in the hole. “Mom do this. Mom take me there right now.” It’s all you hear.
Perhaps at work, it’s much the same. Everybody wants it right now. You’re always in a hurry but don’t seem to be going anywhere. You had to get the project completed today even though you had two weeks to do it. You even said to yourself when it was assigned that you were going to work on it each day and avoid the stress of “last minute” pushes.