Your Inner Prostitute Child Teaches You Faith

Prostitute Inner Child?

Stay with me on this. You’ll learn a different perspective of the word ‘prostitute.’

We all have a Prostitute Inner Child that is there to teach us faith. Most people think that inner voice always tempting us to do the wrong thing is bad. It’s actually there to protect us and strengthen our faith.

By understanding this important part of our inner mind and heart, we can step back from making a poor choice and opt to select the strengthen our faith.

The hardest thing to trust

I often wondered when I saw certain people who seemed to have what I wanted say that they just gave all that they could and was blessed with their abundance.

What? They gave all that they could and then they received?

“What principle is this?” I asked.

I thought it was about me “getting” my abundance. I couldn’t imagine just giving and giving. I thought once I gave it away it was gone forever. After all, men are just in life for them self.

Then something changed for me. I learned that this principle might be true.

Then I had that moment of test, “I’m on the edge of the cliff and if I want to fly, I have to jump off.”

I had to trust in something I couldn’t see. I’ve learned it’s called faith.

I grew up with the attitude that I couldn’t really trust anyone. Now, at the edge of the cliff, I had to bury that belief and jump.

Thankfully, I didn’t die after I jumped. I was scared though. I still am.

Have I successfully executed my test? Have I received more than I’ve given like people have shared had happened to them?

Yes, I have. I have been rewarded with self worth. I have been rewarded with the belief that I’m worthy of being the person who can be trusted. I’m equal in every way with all men and that abundance can be mine.

Imagine that? It’s all about trust. I learned that the reason I couldn’t trust this principle or trust others is because I didn’t trust myself.

Today I do trust. I don’t trust man. I trust the Creator of all. The more I give, the more I receive. In that order is the only way to make it work. That is the test.

Will it be scary for you at the edge of that cliff?

To the least degree to the most

When I was a little boy I’d receive little inexpensive toys and take care of them. When they broke I would be sad.

I learned to take care of the little things.

I’m sure because I took care of those things that were least, I was able to learn to take are of the things that were the most.

Today, I’m blessed with thousands who I’ve been entrusted to lead, serve and help have a great experience.

But truthfully, the person I most care about is the one just starting out who can only afford a small offering of our products. I hope I always treat the least with as much respect as I treat the most.

I suppose if I treat the least in an unjust way, I would treat the most that way too.

It’s funny, today I treat my big expensive toys just like I did the small ones. I’m grateful when I’m treated justly by all. I don’t do business with those that don’t appreciate even my small orders. It’s also funny that many of those that treated me unjustly are out of business.

Ironman; An Act of Faith to Go the Distance

Recently I’ve given several public speeches and intertwined lessons and stories from my Ironman triathlon experiences. I’ve been getting asked at almost every presentation if I have a blog about it. I’ve never thought it was a topic that would interest anyone so I’ve never written about it. Perhaps they’ve inquired because of the stories I’ve shared that personally connect with them.

With your permission I thought I’d start to share some of the stories of Ironman. If you’d rather not have them, just shoot me an email and if I get several “don’t write about that” messages, I’ll stop.

One reaction that I almost always receive when someone discovers that I’ve finished 15 Ironman’s after the age of 50 is look of disbelief. Everyone is always supportive though and I appreciate that.

I suppose like you, there was that first thought of doing something you’d never done before too and it grew and grew until you actually did it. It was that way with me too, I had only heard about the Ironman mostly from watching the replay of the race in Hawaii on NBC Sports. For you doing something special grew out of

If you want to keep the knee you’ll have to quit running

knee tearI’m not even sure how to write this blog. I have many thoughts and emotions and writing this will allow me to get them out of my head and onto paper.

I had been suffering from a very painful knee since July 2014. It got really stiff and I was unable to straighten it for about a month following Ironman Boulder in August. My friend and doctor, Robert Braden, DC, finally was able to figure out the routine I needed in order to return the knee to full flexion so I could straighten it and be able to run. I was able to resume most of my training and it allowed me to successfully finish my 13th Ironman in Tempe, Arizona on November 17, 2014.

But the pain continued.

After that Ironman I was committed to really stepping up my running, my weakest of the three disciplines in the Ironman; 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and a 26.2 mile run. I hired Bobby McGee, a world renown running coach, to help me improve. I started to really run well in the month following Ironman Arizona and had seen a reduction in my run time at about a full minute per mile.

But the pain continued.

Finally, Dr. Braden recommended that I have an MRI on my right knee. He knew I had a torn meniscus but wanted to see the extent of other damage that may be part of my pain.

I had the MRI on December 16, 2014 and went and saw Dr. Braden on Monday December 22nd to review the results.

As soon as I saw Dr. Braden I knew it wasn’t good. I could read it on his face. He knows me really well and how hard I’ve worked to be able to finish 13 Ironmans after I turned age 50. He loves athletes and will do everything for them and encourage them to keep participating even though other professionals would say quit. His eyes told it all as he read the results.

Then he said, “If you want to keep the knee you’ll have to quit running.

Bam, just like that my dreams and goals of crossing finish lines were over.

The MRI results from Alison Nguyen, MD read:

FINDINGS:

Minor joint fluid with no Baker’s cyst. Moderate osteoarthrosis, notably involving the patellofemoral articulation. No acute fracture or focal bone contusion. Bony fragmentation of the tibial tuberosity without marrow edema compatible with remote Osgood-Schlatter’s disease (sagittal PD image 11).

MENISCI: Medial meniscal posterior horn complex multidirectional tear (coronal PD image 15, sagittal PD image 20-22). Intact lateral meniscus.

LIGAMENTS/TENDONS: ACL, PCL, extensor mechanism, MCL, and LCL are intact. Intact medial and lateral patellar retinacula.

CARTILAGE: Moderate chondral thinning along the posterior weight- bearing portion of medial knee compartment (sagittal PD image 22). Severe patellar apex and lateral patellar facet chondral thinning centered at the patellar upper to mid pole level (axial image 5-7). Severe chondral thinning along the central and lateral femoral trochlea (sagittal fat-sat image 8).

IMPRESSION:

1. Medial meniscal posterior horn complex multidirectional tear.

2. Moderate osteoarthrosis with chondral injury as noted above, most significant along the patellofemoral articulation and medial knee compartment.

3. Remote Osgood-Schlatter’s disease.

Basically the cartilage is wearing out because there is bone on bone, thus the “moderate” and “severe” diagnosis. If I continued to run I would wear the knee out, have severe pain and then have to have it replaced. Damn it! That would suck I keep telling myself.

What the Ironman Triathlon meant to me

I love this sport! It fits my personality so well. It’s a sport that demands a great deal of discipline. As I’ve said many times, “The 140.6 miles don’t care if you’ve trained or not.” It’s a distant that demands a lot of endurance training to be able to move for 14 hours without injury. For me I was training 15-22 hours per week.

Ironman is such a big part of my life. I identify with it.

It taught me a lot about myself. During many long training routines, the longest being my 7 hour bike rides, I had to keep my mind quiet and focus on completing the session. In the quiet you learn about yourself. If you have any insecurity or weaknesses, they keep popping up in your mind telling you that you need to quit. For me those were rare occurrences. I have a great deal of confidence in myself because I trust the Lord and I have great joy and gratitude in my life. Most of the gains I’ve made in self development have occurred in the 7 years since July 4, 2006, the date I entered my first Ironman.

I loved seeing myself crossing the finish lines in my mind well before I actually did it. I learned that when you focus on a dream and goal and exercise faith, God will deliver the result to you.

I learned to respect everyone because I realize that the Lord blessed all of us with the will and body to achieve anything as long as we co-create with him.

I loved crossing those 13 finish lines. The anxiety before the swim is almost unbearable yet as soon as the gun goes off the fear goes away and then 13-14 hours later I would cross the finish line! During each race I would have unique experiences along the way. From the cold 52 degree water in Ironman St. George to the hot windy conditions in Ironman Arizona. The steep hills in Ironman Wisconsin to the fans partying in the streets  of Ironman Coure d’Alene. To the 29 degree ambient air temperature of Ironman Lake Tahoe, snowing the night before, to the 93 degree hot temperatures on the marathon in Ironman Boulder.

I loved helping and encouraging other younger athletes. The 20 year olds would call me “pop” and “dad” as I would occasionally pass them on the bike. The funniest was the three young ladies in Ironman Arizona 2012 that rode with me for over 60 miles. We laughed and teased each other for several hours. Then in a magical and “Only a triathlete would understand” moment, I taught them how to pee on the bike while riding!

My last Ironman in Arizona I broke the rules and took my cell phone with me so I could communicate with others as I raced including my wife who finally knew where I would be and when. After that I said that I would take it with me on every race after that.

I lost my wedding ring in Ironman Arizona 2014 on the swim. That swim was my best and yet hardest because of all the extra athletes the organizers allow to race as compared 7 years ago when I started. In my first Ironman in Arizona 2007 there were only about 2,400 competitors. In my last, Ironman Arizona 2014 there were about 3,200 athletes. The extra 800 bodies in the water makes the swim more like an MMA match than a swim. Lots of punching and kicking to go along with swimming.

My whole fitness gains were motivated by the vision I had of crossing finish lines. Motivation is so critical in anything we do in life. By signing up to race, sometimes a year in advance, you had the motivation to continue to train and eat correctly. That taught me a lot about creating motivation in all aspects of my life.

My Sadness

When you see a rich big dream of finishing 50 Ironman triathlons and completing one with a son and one with a grandchild and being the oldest to ever finish an Ironman, to now not knowing if that dream is even possible, really hurts. I have joy in my life and I’m very grateful for all that God has blessed me with yet I’m sad. I’m sad for me. I’m sad for my dream. I’ve not had these feelings at any time in my past athletic life. I can’t even remember the last time I was really sad but this last week has been a butt kick for me. I’m humble and I’m seeking the path that now is before me. What is the fork in my road? I know I need to take the path less traveled but I don’t even know what that path is.

Today while walking I wondered if perhaps this might me a blessing to me. I want to keep my knee of course and race at the same time. I’ve walked the marathon in 4 of my 13 events so I know I can walk and finish. Perhaps I can now train harder for the swim and bike, pushing those in the race with the knowledge that I can recover as I walk the marathon. For most it will be swim – bike – run – finish. For me it might be swim-bike-walk-finish.

 What is next?

I’ve scheduled an appointment with a surgeon, as recommended by Dr. Braden, to explore my options to repair the knee. Dr. Braden believes that surgery to clean out the affected areas would allow me to perhaps race one more year without compromising the health of the knee. I’m looking forward to learning more about that.

I’ve scheduled 3 races in 2015. Ironman St. George 70.3 (half Ironman) in May, Ironman Coure d’Alene (my 3rd trip there) in late June and Ironman Arizona (my 5th time there) in November.

I’ve applied to race the Ironman World Championship in Kona, Hawaii in October 2015. I will be notified in April 2015 if my application has been accepted. It’s been on my vision board for a few years to actually race in Kona and live and train over there for a few months prior to the race. I really believe that I’ll be selected and be able to race in Kona. That would be a pinnacle of my Ironman career.

The lesson for me

I honor the feelings of humility. I honor understanding that my joy is based on understanding that God is in control and all outcomes in my life, both abundant and like this, hard, are for my benefit. While I love being titled “the Ironman”, perhaps now something even more abundant will define me.

I hope so.