Conquer Any FEAR or Anxiety in 30 Seconds

A few years ago when my son was deployed to Aphganistan as a Black Hawk pilot in the US Army I had some anxious moments. War now became very real for me. To think that an enemy wanted to kill my son was very worrisome to me. I had never really suffered from anxiety before or great fear.

During this same year, my business went through some major changes and my income was reduced. That caused a great deal of anxiety too. I had to really resolve this issue. It’s not good to live in fear and anxiety. These emotions just don’t feel very good. It was starting to consume me and I know from prior experience, what I focus on, I find. I was giving life to my fears and anxiety and had to get back to peace and joy, the two emotions I do best with.

That’s when I developed a strategy to remove these emotions. With practice, I was able to remove these negative emotions just about as fast as I got them. Let me share my discovery with you.

Replace Anxiety & Fear with Peace & Joy

There are six distinct steps in the 30-second process. I’ve discovered that I can’t exempt any of the steps. Trust me, I’ve tried. In the beginning, using this method it would take

Why People Start Their Own Business vs Working for Someone Else

I could lose everything I have if I worked for myself! I’m not willing to do that at my age.

It’s way to risky. I see my boss when we have bad months. He’s not happy. I don’t want that for me.

Who would ever buy anything from me? I just don’t have the skills needed to pull it off.

I like my job and the people I work with. I think if I left to do something on my own they would disown me. I see how they bad mouthed a friend of mine who left a few years ago to work for herself. When she failed they ridiculed her. It was really sad.

Of course I’d like to work for myself. Take time off or work when I wanted. I think I’d be way better than my boss. Honestly, I just wouldn’t even know how to really do it.

Can you relate?

Most Americans Want to Start Their Own Business

The thought of working for yourself and wanting to own your own business is a desire of most Americans. Yet upon reflection the “risk, how will this hurt my brain mechanism” pops up in your mind and you dismiss the notion of ever even trying to start your own business.

Why is that?

According to a CNN/Gallup Poll if given a choice of starting their own business or working for someone else, 57% of Americans would opt for the former, while 40% would choose to work for someone else. Among people who are actually employed, the margin in favor of being their own boss is even greater — 61% to 38%.

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When the poll is further broken down by age the results are staggering.

by age

Yet I don’t know of one person who doesn’t want more money because it provides them:

  • More choices
  • More security
  • More certainty
  • More ways to help others

By far the two broad categories that people fall into to create income as the poll was taken is:

  • Work for someone else
  • Start your own business

Most people opt for the first option and work for someone else even though they would rather start  their own business. In fact about 95% that work in the US work for someone else. The other 5% work for them self in their own business. Here’s how that shakes out.

  • 19 out of 20 work for someone else
  • 1 out of 20 work for themself
  • Here’s what that looks like: X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X S

Why People Would Rather Work for Someone Else

Because 95% work for someone else it sets a “cultural” standard that is hard to break free from. Your parents probably worked for someone else and taught you to “get a good education” and “get a good JOB” and then after 40 years you’ll have a pension. That’s part of this norm.

Colleges, universities and vocational schools teach this also. They have to if you think about it. If people went to work for them self instead of going to college and get a job, the colleges would lose income. Did you know that most business classes are taught by professors who have never ran their own business? Most of their business knowledge they got out of book or researching how an entrepreneur did it.

As I think back on the professors I had in college, they really didn’t teach me anything that I really needed to know to run the several businesses I’ve owned. They never taught me courage. They never taught me how to persevere in the face of trials and adversity. They never taught me how to have a big dream and vision and to go for it. All the book learning I’ve rarely used.

Is Being an Employee Just Voluntary Servitude?

The truth is to really gain financial and time choices you have to work for yourself for one reason;

Gain control.

If you voluntarily submit to being controlled by a boss in exchange for a guaranteed amount of pay you’ll never truly be free.

In fact in corporate America today it pays to learn corporate politics instead of being skillful. The politics keep the boss happy. Have you ever experienced a fellow coworker who was an expert at brown nosing because they really sucked at their job?

If you’re looking for more financial choices there is really only a few ways to do it.

If you’re looking for more “money” in the job world you’ll only be able to do that in a few ways:

  • You have to earn more per hour,
  • You have to work more hours (or get second and third jobs),
  • You have to leave your employment and go to another job to get a pay raise.
  • (you have no control in each of these three)

In each of these you really don’t add financial and time/freedom choices. You actually reduce them because you are spending time away from the things you want to spend more time doing. While you may have more “money” you don’t have more choices.

What’s Holding Most People Back?

Most people have within their soul what it takes to start their own business. It really is unlocking that within them:

It takes an independent and courageous attitude.

It takes a different attitude to start your own business. The biggest attitude of those that break free of the voluntary servitude and start their own business can be summed up as follows:

Self worth.

A person that starts their own business usually [not always though] believes they are enough. They don’t need the kudos of others to gain a measure of self worth. They give kudos to them self and feels okay being alone. They like them self and don’t care what other people say about them. They feel good about them self. Many have great self love and compassion for others.

They are comfortable being independent. Doing it their way in spite of the spears and arrows that will be shot at them from others who are insecure. The people that throw darts don’t like anyone to threaten their way of life of being mediocre and part of the norm.

People that start their own business don’t like running with the herd and accepting the herd’s belief that it is safer being in the niche even though the herd is actually run by those leaders outside the herd.

One of the most courageous acts a person will ever do is just being who they really are. Courage to be authentic. Courage to act and not be acted upon.

I coach people who work for others and business owners and this attitude of self worth always seems to be a delineating difference. I’m not amazed anymore of the shame people carry. Once the shame is identified then the flood gates open to personal self worth and breakthroughs in peace and performance.

The great story here is that EVERYONE can learn to have self worth. It’s within every person.

 

Starting over at age 72

A dear friend reached out to me. He said something I taught in a recent presentation he attended touched him. “I need to talk” he said.

The crutch of the conversation was that he was scared. He was uncertain.

Truthfully, he was facing a demon that has been with him since childhood.

As I asked him questions and shared some stories he made the biggest affirmation to me. He said, “I don’t know the answers anymore and I’m not sure I ever did.”

I’ve discovered that when I lived my life though the prism of pride, I only thought I knew the answers. Honestly, I’m scared too. I realize now that I don’t have any answers either. But, like my friend, I affirm openly that I don’t have any answer.

I reassured my friend that knowing he doesn’t have the answer will lead him now to ask. To take each day, one at a time. I believe the answers are always inside of each of us. While we don’t always see them on our time frame (the pride thing), they will always be revealed to us.

I believe God did make me in His image. Because of that, as I love myself as God loves me, unconditionally, He’ll ALWAYS reveal the answers to me. He’ll even reveal answers to me if I don’t unconditionally love myself. God is way cool that way!

I hugged my friend as we concluded and we expressed our love for each other. He said he felt better and now can see some light to start over.

I asked him if he unconditionally loved himself. He’ll have to explore that questions because that’s one he hasn’t been able to answer yet.

It will come. He’s a good person as I think all people are. Pride gets in the way of humility. Of being authentic. He is humble now. He wasn’t judging himself. He wasn’t judging others (at least not as much as he used to).

For me, I don’t have any answers. I do have lots of questions though. I’m scared to know that too yet I’m beginning to understand to trust my Creator to give me the answers when I’m ready to receive them.

Ironman; An Act of Faith to Go the Distance

Recently I’ve given several public speeches and intertwined lessons and stories from my Ironman triathlon experiences. I’ve been getting asked at almost every presentation if I have a blog about it. I’ve never thought it was a topic that would interest anyone so I’ve never written about it. Perhaps they’ve inquired because of the stories I’ve shared that personally connect with them.

With your permission I thought I’d start to share some of the stories of Ironman. If you’d rather not have them, just shoot me an email and if I get several “don’t write about that” messages, I’ll stop.

One reaction that I almost always receive when someone discovers that I’ve finished 15 Ironman’s after the age of 50 is look of disbelief. Everyone is always supportive though and I appreciate that.

I suppose like you, there was that first thought of doing something you’d never done before too and it grew and grew until you actually did it. It was that way with me too, I had only heard about the Ironman mostly from watching the replay of the race in Hawaii on NBC Sports. For you doing something special grew out of

Episode 022: Crave a Hot Relationship? | Blast Your Life with a Hot Relationship with these Three Essentials; Health, Food & Self!

artwork-templetDesire a PASSIONATE relationship! Have glamorous health! Be savvy with the food you eat and have an awesome self worth!

You know how to create good relationships. You have to spend time and care for it. You have to be tolerant and serve the other person. Use the concept of “relationship” as you develop a relationship with your health and food and exercise unconditional love for yourself.

Highlights of today’s show:

  • Build a meaningful relationship with your health
  • Look at food as a fuel with a heart!
  • Decouple food from connection; they are not the same
  • Unconditional love through building a relationship with yourself

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Thanks to: http://www.bensound.com/ for jingles!