Challenged with “I’m not good enough?” Do this one daily hack to kick butt

It seems to me that everyone has felt they weren’t good enough at one or more times in their life. I know I certainly have. At one time in my life, I felt this way all the time and it caused many undesirable behaviors and negative feelings. For me and others I’ve known and served, that belief was associated with not accepting all my imperfections. By not accepting all my imperfections, which most people have many, I began to hide and pretend. I hid due to the shame I carried and not wanting anyone to know for fear they would not accept me. That’s why I pretended to be someone other than my true self. Shame and self-love and acceptance can’t reside together. I can have guilt and self-love together. In fact, feeling guilty is a healthy form of self-love. Shame and guilt, though, are two very different emotions.

All humans crave connection with others. It’s our greatest need to be loved and accepted. Yet when I didn’t accept who I really was I pretended in the form of people pleasing, having to perform for others or aspired to be a perfectionist, in order to get people to accept me. I was always on the slippery ground and it was just a matter of time that my house came crashing down in the form of depression, closing myself off from people including my family, and passing over opportunities for growth, fun, and adventure. I ended up with the worse form of lack of self-acceptance, an addiction; the act of numbing a deep pain.

In my video, I describe one thing for you to do every day as a way to gain self-acceptance, even of your many imperfections. When you begin to accept all of yourself, you’ll free

What I learned from the Ironman that changed my life

The Ironman triathlon consists of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride ending with a 26.2-mile marathon run. What went on from the very instant I decided to attempt it to finally finishing the race taught me more than I could have ever learned from a college degree of study.

“It was like anything that has ever been worthwhile in my life; it was hard, painful and memorable.” Michael Lantz

It was like anything that has ever been worthwhile in my life; it was hard, painful and memorable. I learned a great deal about the conflict of my body hurting and wanting to stop and my mind playing tricks on me, tempting me to quit.

If I had to sum up the top three things I learned about myself it would include these.

Commitment

I learned that my level of commitment is equal to the importance I place on my goals and dreams. When I decided to do my first Ironman on April 15, 2007, I was all in. I was not going to let anything get in the way of crossing that finish line. 

Paying the price

I personally know three convicts. Each sentenced for different crimes. One served 2 years and the other two men served 5+ year sentences. One is still serving and slated to be released sometime next year.

One of them that served two years had a tough life upon returning home. He was married and his wife faithfully waited and supported him during his incarceration. I worked with him before he served his sentence. I worked with his wife during his absence and again with him after he returned home.

Unfortunately their marriage ended and several years of a tough child custody battle raged. In the end his wife was awarded primary custody of their children. It took a toll on her and the children. They didn’t really like being with him or his new wife afterward. After several hard years his wife is getting back on her feet and

Daring greatly; what’s it like in the arena?

I’ve often thought why sports are a big part of American culture. Billions are spent on it annually. Fans flock to opinion talk shows and discussion groups are flooded with arguments why an athlete is or isn’t good.

As a fan I have my favorite teams. I have my favorite athletes. I’ve been on the courts and field of play. I’ve had fans yell for me and against me.

Perhaps sports are a microcosm view of life. Especially in the pursuit of owning your own business. Being employed for yourself, by yourself, completely independent as an entrepreneur is always scary.

One of my favorite excerpts from a talk is a corollary to entrepreneurship. It reads:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

(Excerpt from the speech “Citizenship In A Republic” delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910 by Theodore Roosevelt)

I honor all those athletes who dare greatly. I have little regard for the talking heads and especially fans who express disdain for an athlete as if to judge him/her for not making the fan’s team or perhaps the fan’s prediction look good.

I honor those daring greatly in the independent pursuit of entrepreneurship.

They are each to be honored and respected. Not the critic or skeptic “who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”

Each of my heroes, an athlete or entrepreneur,  who “strive[s] to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Daring greatly is a way of life for some.

No wonder the athletes and entrepreneurs never hear the jeers from the critics and skeptics in the stands. Critics are everywhere only to watch (and judge). Critics are to fearful to play and dare greatly because they couldn’t take what they dish out.

The only courage is from those on the field of dreams.

The “ONE” Secret to Earning Trust No One Talks About

Trust is one thing. Being trustworthy is another.

A liar can at times be trusted. A trustworthy man can always be trusted.

Where does being trustworthy come from?

Keeping promises. One at a time.

I’d rather make only one promise and keep it than a bunch of promises and only keep one.

One aspect that has always worked for me in building business relationships is only make one promise to someone and make sure I keep it.

You might feel like me when someone makes outlandish promises knowing they will never be able to keep them; “They won’t come through. I’ve heard that story way to many times.”

It seems to me people who are insecure about themselves make big promises in the hope you affirm them. Then when they don’t keep their promises exposes the fear they had in the first place that they were hiding their true character.

Earn trust and become trustworthy, one kept promise at a time.