Are You Authentic?
How would you really know? I don’t like labeling any person especially using the word “authentic.” While the word is adequate to describe their characteristics of being real, genuine or not a fake, it doesn’t help a person who lacks these desirable traits, to acquire them. A person who lacks traits of being real doesn’t even know they may not be real and that they are faking their own life. To them, faking is the only way they know how and they will have the deer in the headlights look when talking about this.
I’ve met several highly motivated people who claim they are authentic when it seems to me that they are faking it. Saying your are authentic and being authentic are two very different states.
I like using other traits to describe an authentic person. A real person has these desirable traits; self-love and personal unconditional acceptance of themselves and their imperfections. A person who lacks self-acceptance of their faults will understand the faults they have that they don’t accept and may be led to change. They may then be led to ask important questions such as, “I wonder how I begin to accept my own faults?” Or the best question they might ask, “How can I ever drop my guard and begin to share my faults with others without feeling ashamed of them?”
Self-love allows a person to exercise courage in being open and vulnerable. Lack of self-love, or another way to describe this state; conditional self-love, causes a person to believe they are not enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not talented enough. I’m not worthy enough.
Shame is the underlying cause of not being authentic and acting in a way to please others. Shame is hidden in most people. Watch my next few videos, as I will teach you about shame and how to overcome it. I’ll teach you how it affects a child too. You’ll be a better self and much better parent.
A few years ago when my son was deployed to Aphganistan as a Black Hawk pilot in the US Army I had some anxious moments. War now became very real for me. To think that an enemy wanted to kill my son was very worrisome to me. I had never really suffered from anxiety before or great fear.
During this same year, my business went through some major changes and my income was reduced. That caused a great deal of anxiety too. I had to really resolve this issue. It’s not good to live in fear and anxiety. These emotions just don’t feel very good. It was starting to consume me and I know from prior experience, what I focus on, I find. I was giving life to my fears and anxiety and had to get back to peace and joy, the two emotions I do best with.
That’s when I developed a strategy to remove these emotions. With practice, I was able to remove these negative emotions just about as fast as I got them. Let me share my discovery with you.
Replace Anxiety & Fear with Peace & Joy
There are six distinct steps in the 30-second process. I’ve discovered that I can’t exempt any of the steps. Trust me, I’ve tried. In the beginning, using this method it would take
The Ironman triathlon consists of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride ending with a 26.2-mile marathon run. What went on from the very instant I decided to attempt it to finally finishing the race taught me more than I could have ever learned from a college degree of study.
“It was like anything that has ever been worthwhile in my life; it was hard, painful and memorable.” Michael Lantz
It was like anything that has ever been worthwhile in my life; it was hard, painful and memorable. I learned a great deal about the conflict of my body hurting and wanting to stop and my mind playing tricks on me, tempting me to quit.
If I had to sum up the top three things I learned about myself it would include these.
I learned that my level of commitment is equal to the importance I place on my goals and dreams. When I decided to do my first Ironman on April 15, 2007, I was all in. I was not going to let anything get in the way of crossing that finish line.
I personally know three convicts. Each sentenced for different crimes. One served 2 years and the other two men served 5+ year sentences. One is still serving and slated to be released sometime next year.
One of them that served two years had a tough life upon returning home. He was married and his wife faithfully waited and supported him during his incarceration. I worked with him before he served his sentence. I worked with his wife during his absence and again with him after he returned home.
Unfortunately their marriage ended and several years of a tough child custody battle raged. In the end his wife was awarded primary custody of their children. It took a toll on her and the children. They didn’t really like being with him or his new wife afterward. After several hard years his wife is getting back on her feet and
When I was a boy I used to see hitchhikers all over the place. When our family drove from Las Vegas to Clinton, Oklahoma to visit grandma and grandpa you’d see hitchhikers all the way there.
How did I know they were hitchhiking? Of course they had their thumb sticking out.
But I also knew where they were headed because they held up a cardboard sign.
If we were headed to Oklahoma it wouldn’t make sense to pick up one going to Montana. It would be bad for both of us.
As Seth Godin taught me, “If you’ve got people on your bus who are headed somewhere you have no intention of going, today might be a good day for them to get off the bus.”