How to Discover What Makes a Person Tick; The Art of Asking the Right Questions

FB-Pic-TempletA dear friend gave me a Russian Matryoshka doll to help me understand how to really find out what made a person tick. Upon that discovery a person would be able to fully understand why they acted in certain ways, many times leading to enlightenment. My friend taught me a really simple method of asking a question which would lead to another question, each answer unlocking a reason for certain actions. The goal is to ultimately find a person’s core value leading to lasting and permanent motivation.

A Russian Matryoshka doll

The Question Form

I’ll use a recent experience I had when helping a women uncover her ‘why.’ The question is always asked as follows:

“What’s important about ______________ to you?”

The blank area is filled in to start based on their reason for seeking you and your service or product offering.

My prospect sought to lose weight. I could have probably stopped there but may have lost a long-term customer because after the weight was lost she probably would have quit the program and gained it all back. But by unlocking this women’s core value she could then see why staying healthy would match her core value.  Here is the discussion:

I asked, “What’s important about losing weight to you?”

She replied, “I want to get rid of some knee pain I’ve had for a long time.”

I asked, “What’s important about getting rid of the knee pain to you?”

“I would really like to run a 5K in the Spring.”

“What’s important about running a 5K to you?”

“I really want to show my mom that I can do anything I put my mind to.”

“What’s important about showing your mom that you can do anything you put your mind to to you?”

“My mom has never believed in me. She belittles me. I want to show her how confident I am!”

Alas, the discovery of her core value and the real reason she wanted to lose weight; she wanted to be confident and seek her mother’s affirmation. With that self discovery this women released over 65 pounds, ran a 5K, 10K and recently finished the Las Vegas Rock n Roll Half Marathon with her mom at the finish line!

You can either be a product salesman or really help a person transform their life.

If you’d like more information about this method, please contact me. Also, leave me a comment.

Are you “hunting” for propects or “fishing” for them?

If you have ever said, “I need to ‘get’ that person on my team!” then you are probably hunting for them. What happens to a hunted animal? It runs for cover! People will sense that you are after them and will avoid you like a Florida hurricane.

FB-Pic-TempletOn the other hand, if you have ever fished, you offer up bait and the fish will come to your line and take it. You have to be like the bait; be attractive, offer value and be sincere in your want to serve them.

It always bothered me when I heard a team member say that they needed to ‘get’ someone in their business. That becomes a teaching moment for me to remind them we are in relationship marketing, not hunting marketing. People would rather do business with someone who they are friends with. As Abe Lincoln once said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

The takeaway: Be a fisherman. Serve others. Become  a genuine friend. Understand people’s needs. Listen to them.

They may not ever join your team but you end up with an awesome friend. And the chances are greater  when your offering would really help them, they will seek you for help or will at least be open to leaning more how you can help them.