What’s the Best Income Earning Opportunity for Women Today?

Women have more options than ever before to earn income. While comparison pay with men still lags behind, our economy is forgiving and there are new innovating ways for women to earn more than men.

What profession has 5.3 million people (at the end of 2016) who are actively building income for themselves and 74% are women? The largest age segment in this innovated profession is between 35-44 (26%). The age segment that is catching up and the fastest growing is between 25-34.

DSA-facts

My Experience With This Profession

When I was in high school I really didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do. My dad was a plumber and his dad before him. My dad did teach me how to use my hands and I’m forever grateful for that. He said there were only three things I needed to know to become a plumber; “Poop rolls downhill, the boss is an SOB, and payday is Friday.”

The Power of One; One task, one goal, one purpose

The most productive times in my life I was only focused on doing one thing.

The times of most frustration in my life I was chasing several goals at once.

It seems to me that it’s like a laser beam. It works because it is a massive amount of power focused on a a very small area.

Remember burning leaves with a tiny plastic magnifying glass? You’d just adjust the magnifying glass up or down to narrow the size of the beam. The small the beam the more powerful it was and before long the leaf would be burning.

Of course my brother and I would sneak the beam on each other and try to burn each other.

People talk about how a women can multitask. I suppose that’s true. Why does that work for her? Well, her entire focus usually is on her family and all those tasks are toward them. Therefore, she has one focus and doing many things at once for them.

Even in biblical times this was true. Jesus taught, “The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light.” Luke 11:34 KJV

Kinda explains why the magnifying glass works. Or mom raising her family. Or you creating a life’s legacy.

 

Thinking about your own life – what is the biggest challenge you personally face in your daily life today? | A Women’s Poll

Women face a unique set of challenges and are most often overlooked by others in understanding their needs. Because they are overlooked the number of solutions available may be limited. Please take the poll of Women’s biggest challenge.

Compare Yourself to Amazing People? | A Trigger to Feeling Inadequate

perfect momDo you “should” on yourself? Do you find yourself comparing your life to others? Ever been smacked down by a perfectionist and told how to do something?

Ever find yourself thinking that Penny Perfect is the best mom? Her kids are always in soccer, ballet or play the piano and your kids are glued to video games and Netflix and their rooms are messy. She’s in shape and you don’t like your shape. You’re afraid to wave to her because you’re embarrassed about your 8 year old minivan that one of your kids hurled in.

You have this flood of emotion and the word “should” keeps popping up.

I should get my kids into soccer.

I should start eating better.

I should start going to the gym.

I should be like Penny.

All of these “shoulds” have negative emotions attached. Feelings of inadequacy, doubt, guilt and fear seem to take over.

Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you’re not alone.

The Truth About Penny Perfect

While Penny may seem like the perfect mom it’s highly probable she is being driven to perfection because she doesn’t feel good about herself either!

Many people doubt them self and they don’t want anyone to know. Behind this lack of belief is some sort of shame; the fear of being unlovable. I’ve heard these statements from some of the moms I’ve worked with, “I better get my kids into soccer because I don’t what the other mothers to think I’m a bad mom.” I’ve even heard this, “I hate getting up at 4:30am to go and work out. My trainer charges a lot to be there at that hour. But I don’t want others to think I’m fat so I push myself hard. At times it gets old and I wished I could just sleep in and go have a donut with the others.” The most amazing thing I heard once from one of my perfectionist moms, “I’m really a nice person and would like to hang out with some of the moms in the neighborhood but I don’t want some of the powerhouse moms I know to be disappointed with my choice of friends.”

Perfectionism is a symptom of this scared view that they somehow are not enough.

Don’t Should on Yourself

imperfect momPlease understand that Penny Perfect isn’t so perfect. Their attitude is created through the fear they won’t be accepted for who they really are so they create this perfectionist person to be accepted. When you compare yourself to Penny Perfect and start to “should” on yourself, you are also expressing the same fear she has; “I’m not good enough as I really am and people won’t like me. So I need to be what other people want me to be so I can fit in.”

The solution to overcome the “shoulds” and the “perfectionist” is to act in courage and move toward vulnerability. This is what being authentic is all about. Through being authentic you will be accepted and be able to create much deeper connections with others.

Authentic: The daily practice of letting go of who you think others want you to be and embrace who you really are.

We all have a need to be loved and belong to something bigger than ourself. We need to be accepted. This is present in all of us and all the time. This is where shame can be a driving force to cause you to become unauthentic. Shame causes the “should” attitude. “I must be a bad mom because my kids don’t play soccer and would rather play video games. I ‘should’ get them into soccer so others don’t think I’m a bad mom.” While it may be a good thing for your kids to play soccer, if you force them to play so you feel better about yourself, could really backfire. Your kids may become resentful. They may rebel and create some unhealthy behavior. And you’re not going to get what you really deserve; to be loved for who you really are.

In my experience as a former perfectionist and now practicing authenticity by embracing who I really am, being vulnerable has helped me be accepted by everyone for just being me. There will always be someone who doesn’t like me for who I really am. I realize that if that happens they made a choice that was more about them than it was about me. I may feel a little badly about that but it won’t change the fact that I feel worthy of love and belonging. I feel worthy of connection. I don’t fear as much as I used to that I was unlovable.

When I began to let others see who I really was my connections with others improved substantially. My energy level increased because I didn’t spend it pretending to be somebody I wasn’t all the time. It’s way easier.

Improved Personal Development

pd mom

Dr. Seuss said, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

As you begin the courageous “daily practice” of being authentic, of accepting who you really are, of moving to a point of being vulnerable, you’ll see just how beautiful you really are. You’ll discover that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are. It’s in this peaceful state that your life will begin to move forward. It’s powerful to be vulnerable. Yes it’s scary because you are putting it all out there for all to see. It’s scary because someone my reject you. You will fall on your face. You’ll have your share of failures. That’s part of life. But you’ll not deviate from loving yourself.

Others will mock you. Others will criticize you for being you. Why? They have to judge you to feel good about them selves. They judge you because they are stuck in shame mode. They are now “should-ing” on you! Shame is always the genesis of judgment.

Be you. You are enough just as you are. You are worthy of love and belonging. You don’t need to should on yourself. Be a courageous warrior of embracing who you really are!!!

Kids Demand Your Time? Boss Demands Your Time? Everyone Needs You? | Insider View of Fulfillment

imperfect momThe tug-o-war of priorities. Everyone is pulling for your time.

Have you ever said or thought, “When do I get time for myself?”

What’s the solution?

First of all give yourself a big pat on the back for being so good in all areas of your life that everyone wants more of you.

Moms especially deserve a big medal because without them the family would crumble, nothing of value would ever get done at work and relationships would suffer.

Let’s look at three truths and solutions.

There Are Only 24 Hours in a Day

Well duh! You already know that. What this helps you to understand is that there is only a finite amount of time to go around. But this is also a cause of the stress and anxiety you feel of being pulled in so many directions because you “think” that it all has to get done within “everyone else’s” time frame. Get rid of the watch (or at least the concept of time) because the truth is only one thing can get done at a time (although women are great multitaskers and dispel this belief on a daily basis). It’s about priorities. Read more below.

There is Only One of You

The great blessing in life is that there is only one of you! You are unique and there is no reason to think that you need to be someone other than yourself to get it all done. Every person is challenged with the tug-o-war. Those who solve it either figured out the truths on their own or they read this blog post!!!

First be authentic. According to Brene’ Brown, Phd’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection (I highly recommend you read this) to be authentic is, “To get rid of the person you think you should be and embrace who you really are.”

Create Priorities and Trust Them

This is the meat and potatoes of removing the tug-o-war. You have to understand the importance of priorities and schedule time in each area. Yes, I said the “S” word. You have to be proactive and SCHEDULE tasks and events in each area.

Below is a relationship pyramid. This is taken from the book titled, ACHIEVING THE BALANCE: YOUR IDEAL LIFE IS WAITING! by Leo Weidner and Mark Kastleman.

Please focus on the word, “Relationship.” The categories in order of importance, just like a real pyramid, are from the bottom up. The significance of each area in relation to the others are illustrated by their size on the shape.

You have to build a “relationship” with each area. They are to be built from the bottom up.

When is the last time you really spent time on yourself? I’ll bet you always forsake yourself and take care of everyone else first. Build a better you by study and service. It’s focusing on your needs and doing something that really matters to you.

When I’ve quizzed people about the six categories there has never been one person that slotted in “health” to the mix. It’s actually more important than your family (spouse, children or parents/siblings) yet they seem to get more time than you going for a run or to the gym. If you lost your health, then nothing would get done. It is so important to take care of your health.

relationship-priorties

 

It’s unfortunate that many people in life do not have a relationship with their Creator. This is the spiritual connection that attaches all the dots together. From personal experience and working with thousands I’ve discovered that the greatest gains in happiness, joy, peace and productivity are when people begin to build a relationship with their Creator.

The cause of much of your stress and tug-o-war is that the order of the pyramid is all out of sorts. Many business owners turn the pyramid upside down and think their business is more important than the rest of the categories. Or moms leaving self and health completely off the grid. If you’re a mom have you ever thought, “When do I ever get time for myself?”

What’s Next?

You thought I’d never ask!

What’s next is up to you. It will take some focused effort on removing yourself from the tug-o-war. Many people are simply addicted to it. When you remove yourself of the drama and other stress when others want your time, because you’ve SCHEDULED life on your terms, they will see the difference in you. You’ll begin to get everything done, on time and with outstanding results. You’ll actually get more done because you’ll replace meaningless tasks with high priority tasks.

You’ll condition others to your new way but you first have to condition yourself.

Go and do it. Climb the pyramid all the way to the top!!!!